#Simonchu and Bananafunkle

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 77

LAYLA: Do not call me. Do not find me. I’ve unfriended you on Facebook. I’d just assume not look at you ever again, unless it’s on T.V. Goodbye.

PUNCHY: I understand. I am not worthy of your love and compassion. I am truly sorry, Layla. Stay safe and well.

LAYLA: And as for you, banana.

BANANASAUROS: Rrr?

LAYLA: You are bruised, moldy, and downright not fruit full. Good bye.

Layla asks Punchy not try to contact her again. She assumes they’ll never meet again, unless she sees him on TV (not gonna lie, I kinda laughed at that bit, even though I’m not sure it was a joke.) Though in universe, the problems with Layla and Punchy’s relationship was solely caused by BS showing up, it’s more likely that more cosmic forces drove them apart - namely Chris. The decision to break up both Punchy’s and Angelica’s relationships at the same time was probably not a coincidence. Let’s start with the two non-Chaotic Combo members involved. Layla was, however indirectly, the brainchild of Ivy O’Neil, who had been “dead” for about eight years at this point and was naught but a memory to Chris (if he remembered her at all). Reginald was Chris’s replacement self-insert for when he couldn’t use his more blatant self-insert due to being trapped in the Time Void. Both of these characters were relics of a time gone by, the time of Classic Chris, and their continued presence felt like an artifact. As we’ll soon see, they get paired up together, seemingly tying together two loose ends and writing them off more or less into the sunset (not exactly, as we’ll see in Sonichu 12, but that’ll come later). Moving back to Punchy and Angelica, remember way back in Sonichu 7 when Magi-Chan said that Wild and Punchy were competing for Angie’s love, a plot point that was soon dropped when Simonla came on the scene and stole Wild’s heart away? Well, between their partners leaving them and their brief conversation in Episode 22, it’s possible that Chris intended to set the two up to get into a relationship, the first two Chaotic Combo members to date each other, but it never really took shape. Chris seemingly didn’t care to set them up any further in Sonichu 12, and then that ship wasn’t part of the Idea Guys’ manifesto, so seemingly it’s been on ice forever. Chris has spent very little time as of late on either character, so their fate in the post Idea Guys world is somewhat foggy, and it seems their latent attraction has been suppressed.

Punchy takes getting dumped surprisingly well. He’s surprisingly mature about letting Layla live her life without him, though that might be because Chris was just done with the Layla character by this point.

Despite calling BS bruised and moldy, Layla still takes a bite out of him.

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Sonichu 11 Page 69

SFX: Whoosh!

SIMON: Woah! Punchy, what was in that food you gave him?

PUNCHY Just some Pocky, man; wheat, soy, milk and strawberry powder. Simple Pocky. It’s not a rare candy; less than a dollar per box.

SANDY: Wow! We sure do grow up fast!

BANANASAUROS: Ner flem bamble flooby?

BANANASAUROS {thought}: What are y’all looking at>

PUNCHY: Banana…sauros!

BANANASAUROS {thought}: Dude. You’re spooking me.

PUNCHY: You just evolved. 

BANANASAUROS {thought}: Whaaa…?

PUNCHY: I have heard dragon Pokemon evolve super-late, but you hatched just a few minutes ago.

BANANASAUROS {thought}: Maybe it was your kindness that zapped me forward.

PUNCHY: It’s beyond me, man. Oh, well, let’s go, dude.

BANANASAUROS {thought}: You still take me in, dude?

PUNCHY: Hell yeah.

Caption: Bananasauros Grass/Dragon (normally evolves from Bananasaur at level 45)

The Pocky causes Bananasaur to spontaneously evolve, despite him presumably not being anywhere close to the Level 45 his species normally evolves at (which is actually fairly late for fossil Pokemon, who normally evolve somewhere between level 30 and 40, though Punchy notes that Dragon-Type Pokemon usually evolve at high levels, possibly referring to the Pseudo-Legendary phenomenon). Sandy muses that he grew up fast, just like she grew up fast, but while she had to grow up fast to drill Evan’s dick off, Bananasauros has no reason to be so hasty. Bananasauros chalks it up to Punchy’s kindness, seemingly quick to handwave the evolution into a more banana-like form.

The somewhat dull and uninspired name change from “Bananasaur” to “Bananasauros” is possibly based on the similarly bland change from “Kabuto” to “Kabutops”, another Pokemon that comes from a fossil.

Typing “Bananasauros” is surprisingly annoying, so I’m just gonna call him “BS” from now on. That seems fitting.

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Sonichu 11 Page 66

SIMON: A new pocket monster, huh? Let’s have a look-see.

BANANASAUR: Bleh! Warble-warble!

Caption: Bananasaur Grass/Dragon

SANDY: Aww! Look at this cute thing. I feel like I wanna keep it!

BANANASAUR: Whee! Nerp-in flabbin’ ne-boo!

SANDY: Welcome to the world, Bananasaur, what’s your first thought?

BANANASAUR: Blegh! Nerp-flam wobble, ni-boop! Wam wam ka-blam!

SANDY: Wha…?

SANDY: Weird… as a Pokemon myself, I can understand a freshly hatched Pidgey, even a Dieno, but I only hear gibberish from him.

Simon and Sandy, curious about the monstrosity they’ve discovered, release Bananasaur to the world, revealing a small, green, not-quite-banana-like beast. His green color may reference unripe bananas, which are green.

Bananasaur is a Grass/Dragon-Type, a typing that might not have been in use by any real Pokemon when Bananasaur was created (the earliest evidence we have for the thing is 2014, the same year that Mega Sceptile was released, a Mega Evolution that added the Dragon-Type to the normally mono-Grass-Type Sceptile). By 2017, when this was released, Mega Sceptile was firmly established and was joined by Alolan Exeggutor, and since then the Grass/Dragon-Type has been expanded to include Applin and its evolutions Flapple and Appletun. Despite the typing, Bananasauros most strongly resembles Tropius, a Grass/Flying-Type banana dinosaur. Though the latter Pokemon didn’t exist at this point, Bananasaur retroactively resembles a cross between Tropius and the Applin line, the former’s banana focus and the like the latter it’s essentially a living fruit.

Bananasaur does not speak its name like most Pokemon, instead it mumbles and warbles. Sandy notes that she can normally understand Pokemon speak, even Dragon-Types like Deino, but Bananasaur’s garbled talk is all Greek to her. Luckily for Bananasaur, an ally is nearby.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 78

BANANASAUROS: Pbrrr…

BANANASAUROS {thought}: Aaaay, Punchy. It’s all cool, brah. I was dumped by a few women in my past life. (Granted, it was my fault for playing the field badly) Let’s go play some Call of Duty, dude.

PUNCHY: …Yeah. Give me lots of time to recover, then ask me again, banana-hopper.

CHRIS: I sincerely apologize, but time is short for this episode, with two pages left, so I’m summarizing the remainder.

CHRIS {narration}: So, after Layla leaves, she takes a cab to her temprary care-giving trainer, (like how volunteers temp care for cats and dogs, or like a volunteer big sibling) William Falkner. He lets her stay at his house, then the next day…

Caption: December 23, 3:30 PM, at an M.C.D…

CHRIS {narration}: Layla finds Reginald, recognizes him, and asks to share the table while she eats and searches the web for a job and a place to rent on her phone.

LAYLA: How have you been since the class?

REGINALD: Eh… I could be better right now.

Caption: December 27, 7:30 PM, Layla’s apartment… 

CHRIS {narration}: Reginald had not found a new place yet, so Layla invites him to bunk with her. A few days later, she finds a good place to rent, and a job at the electric company as a secretary in power management. Reginald moves in with her.

REGINALD: I’ll take the couch; you have the bed.

LAYLA: Nonsense, cutie. Come to bed with me.

Chris buts in to announce that the episode is almost over (I don’t know why he feels the need to wrap this up; it’s not like he had a strict time limit or anything. I guess he was just bored of this episode).

Seeing as Ivy is still dead, Layla is without a friend in the world, so she’s briefly taken under the wing of a “[temporary] care-giving trainer”. Her temp trainer shares his name with mid-Twentieth Century American novelist William Faulkner (whose birth name was in fact Falkner without the U), famous for The Sound and the Fury (1929) and As I Lay Dying (1930). Though Faulkner is from and strongly associated with his home state of Mississippi, he was briefly the writer-in-residence at the University of Virginia, where Chris was known to stalk girls at in his youth, so it’s possible Chris became familiar with his work through his time spent there (or it’s possible that he was assigned one of his books during his schooling, but given how well he did on most of his English assignments I doubt he would remember it). It’s also not impossible that this character is named for this Falkner, the Flying-Type gym leader from Johto, seeing that he and the Flaaffy Pokemon debuted in the same games.

After leaving Falkner’s care, she reunites with her old community college buddy Reginald Sneasel, and they meet for food at McDonald’s, possibly the same McDonald’s where Punchy and Layla had their first date. After getting a place of her own and getting a real job (apparently she wasn’t already working, like an unmarried and childless housewife), she invites Reginald not only into her house but into her bed, cementing their new relationship.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 60

SANDY: I’m sorry too, Uncle Simonchu.

WILD: Wow! I had no idea that was going on there too. My dad suffered a similar fate with Team Rocket.

WILD: I am really sorry for you, man.

SANDY: What did you do after all that?

SIMON: Well, Sandy, after being set free, I pursued my interest in fossils and geology. Feeling banned from Virginia, I started a new life in West Virginia. It’s not a swift. I recieved the invitation from Simonla on my phone yesterday, shortly after uncovering this Razor Claw and this fossil. I figured I’d revive the fossil while I was here.

WILD: Hmm. I know someone who’d appreciate this. May I take the Razor Claw to him as a gift?

SIMON: Sure, Wild. I have no use for it.

WILD: Cool.

SANDY: I would like to guide you to the CWCville museum for your fossil restoration, Uncle Simon.

SIMON: Thank you, Sandy; that is very kind of you.

Wild and Sandy suddenly realize they’ve been jerks and Wild particularly empathizes with Simon’s abuse because his father was similarly forced to perform evil under the wing of Team Rocket.

Simon ends his story with what he’s been doing since his release from prison, seeing that he was acquitted due to being coerced into the crime. He felt “banned from Virginia”, despite him walking off scot-free, seemingly not getting much attention in the media, given how little of a role he plays in Sonichu 10, what’s presumably the CWCville gvt’s official public record of the events, and CWCville events seemingly being of little importance to the rest of the state of Virginia. He left to the mountainous Appalachian region of West Virginia, a fresh start away from his abusers in Virginia and Minnesota, and a place for him to fulfill his passion - digging for fossils. He now looks forward to a future where he’s on speaking terms with his sister, brother-in-law, and niece.

Simon’s two gifts are the crux of the conflict of this issue - a Razor Claw, a holdable item in Pokemon games used primarily to evolve Sneasels into Weaviles (provided they hold it while leveling up at night), and an unknown fossil. Were it not for the unforgettable arrival of Bananasaurus, birthed from this fossil, and Reginald finding his new Weavile form monstrous, this episode would have ended here and now.

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Sonichu 11 Page 65

UNNAMED BLUE ROSECHU: Yes, sir. We will have it ready in a few minutes.

Sign: Fossil research!

SIMON: Huh. Forget Wild’s dating education class, I ought to ask that cutie out.

SIMON: You know what, Sandy? I think I will move here. I have only a few possessions. A breeze for me.

SANDY: A good choice. CWCville is a great city with very supportive communities, and a safe space.

SIMON: Hmm… how are you doing in school?

SANDY: Oh, silly uncle. I’ve only just started. After evolving, and everyone teaching me this and that, I filled an application, I got placed in the fourth grade. Basic handwriting is easy; Zapina taught me. My first day in October was nice. Math was copable.

SIMON: Well, in my digs, I’ve found more than a dozen gold nuggets; after selling them, I rented a comfy place in town. I hold on to the Quick Ball I was caught in to remember that no matter what in my life, it can only get better in my life. Plus, it’s easier to store things in than a bulky backpack.

Caption: 15 minutes later…

UNNAMED BLUE ROSECHU: Your fossil has been revived. This is a new Pokemon you’ve uncovered.

UNNAMED BLUE ROSECHU: I’ve contacted Professor Cedar; it has been dubbed Bananasaur. We’ve 3D-scanned it and got some vitals. We would greatly appreciate one or two more for further research; please consider a day care center. Here you go.

Here we meet this blue Rosechu scientist who, despite Chris’s love of all things EHP, has never been given much characterization - she may as well be a human - she doesn’t even have a name (“Unnamed Blue Rosechu” is a pretty unwieldy name, I’m just going to call her “Marjorie” from here on out.) Marjorie works in Pokemon fossil restoration, working under CWCville’s very own Pokemon Professor “Professor Cedar”, one of very few EHPs we’ve ever seen to hold a steady job. She has a distinctively orange Raichu tail. This might just be because she’s on the job, but she’s also one of very few EHPs to regularly wear a full set of clothes. Her elemental typing is unclear, but it’s possible she’s a Water/Electric-Type like Bubbles, just without the Marril tail. Simon is attracted to her, and thinks about asking her out, a plot thread that’s not expanded upon any further. Neither Simon nor Marjorie reappear in Sonichu 12, despite Simon expressing interest in returning to CWCville.

Speaking of, Simon, since his brother-in-law and niece are no longer out for his blood, realizes nothing’s keeping him from Virginia. He did have a place in West Virginia, rented out with the money he made from selling the things he dug up, but he’s okay with uprooting his life to be closer to family, despite the fact that he probably won’t be able to do as much digging far away from the mountains. He keeps Evan’s Quick Ball as a reminder of how far he’s come after leaving his control. Sandy also talks about entering the fourth grade, which was alluded to in Sonichu 10 (I can’t believe Chris got that continuity right.)

CWCville’s Pokemon Professor, in line with the tradition that most Pokemon Professors take their names from trees, is dubbed Cedar, and little is known about them. In fact, their role as Professor would seemingly be usurped in April 2019, when Chris would take umbrage with the fact that Trickie’s Rosechu’s Story implied that Cole Smithey was a Pokemon Professor, so Chris changed it so that “Professor Cole” was fired for doing poor work and he was replaced by one “Cindy Zapbud”, a Professor named after the fictional electric flower Rosechu loves. Presumably, Prof Zapbud also replaced Prof Cedar, assuming that Zapbud isn’t a rename of Cedar (it’s more likely Chris forgot mentioning the Cedar character, seeing how little presence they have in the story, and assumed the position was open when creating the Zapbud character.)

Here, we’re introduced to the concept of the Bananasaur for the first time in the story. The fossil Simon found didn’t contain any of the twenty-five currently known fossil Pokemon, but something totally new, and so much worse. Marjorie recommends dropping the thing off at a Pokemon Day Care to breed it with a Ditto to make further specimens for research, something that would be followed up on.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 63

ANGELICA: What in the name of all that’s holy…?

ANGELICA: Reginald?!

ANGELICA: Reginald… honey?… Are you okay?

REGINALD: Angelica.

ANGELICA: You’ve evolved, and you’re hurt. Let me help…

REGINALD: No!!! You can’t! Not like this! I am far gone, now. The docile Reginald you fell for is no more. I’ve evolved against my own will, and I’ve trashed your room in my sleep. I can’t stay here with you. Not as horrific as I’ve become.

ANGELICA: Sweetie, I do not blame you, and I can tell you are still good in heart and soul. I can heal you. Let me help.

REGINALD: Your kindness is appreciated, but I know, as the Weavile that I have become, I am vicious and more dark than the night. Farewell, love.

Angelica confronts Reginald and tries to comfort him in his new, enraged state, but he rejects her help and mopes that he can never go back to the non-feral Reginald he once was. He says he “evolved against [his] own will”, which is bullshit because he clearly didn’t have to wear the Razor Claw necklace to sleep. At best he could say he evolved due to his own lapse in judgement. He is concerned that if he sticks around longer, he might inadvertently hurt her, so he disappears into the night, leaving Angelica heartbroken.

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Sonichu 11 Page 62

Caption: After a spot of cuddle and love, Angelica and Reginald retire for the night. But something special(?) happens…

Caption: 2:30 AM

SFX: Wham Boom Ka-Slice Thud Ka-Slice

Caption: Five minutes later… 

Apparently having sex with Angelica earns Reginald enough Experience Points to level up, and thus evolve (this, bizarrely enough, has logic in the Pokemon games - if you put two Pokemon in the Nursery, they’ll gain EXP and level up, and if you put a compatible male and female together they’ll produce an egg, so it’s actually technically canon that Pokemon gain EXP from having sex and I hate that Chris pointed that out to me.)

Unlike most Sneasels who evolve into Weaviles, Reginald’s transformation is more like a werewolf transformation as he immediately gains a destructive instinct and wrecks their room. Angelica also evolved in her sleep and faced no ill-effects for it, so it must be a Sneasel thing, in this universe where Sneasels are cyan instead of navy blue.]

Chris’s decision to make Reginald Weavile a crazed madman may be loosely inspired by one of the species’s entries in the Pokedex, specifically this one from Platinum, Black, and White: “Evolution made it even more devious. It communicates by clawing signs on boulders.” However, most other Pokedex entries stress how intelligent the species is, more conniving and cunning than brutish. Reginald is clearly not intelligent.

Chris must have been really fond of the sound effect “Ka-Slice” since it shows up twice.

Also, it appears that Angelica has a picture of the Virgin Mary hanging above her bed. Generally, in most Christian doctrines, it’s not considered nice to force the Virgin Mary to watch Sonic OCs have filthy sex, but I don’t know how things are done in Angelica’s denomination.

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Sonichu 11 Page 79

CHRIS {narration}: Meanwhile, while he recovers from Layla leaving, David has been feeling more at home. “Best roomies”, V.B.B.? Not so likely.

Caption: December 28, 3:30 AM

CHRIS?: Fortunately for Punchy; not so much f

PUNCHY: She is not joking!! Endless gaming, not cleaning after himself, and not only have I lost peace of mind and sleep, I haven’t been able to binge-watch my “Samurai Pizza Cats” DVD set. Ugh!!!

CHRIS {narration}: Fortunately for Punchy; not so much for David, Master Shin-nabe hired David for various jobs around the dojo, and teaches further strict training.

SHINABE: Doing constant labor builds stronger endurance.

MAGI-CHAN: I, too, feel need to interrupt as well. I have been locating our Sonichites and Rosechites since the past August of 2008. And I have been prolific in keeping with Graduon’s then spiritual activities since his release.

MAGI-CHAN: With Christine Chandler’s protection, a spot of havoc is nullified at the SLGBTQ pride festival of 2009. But the greater threats will be building up after that, regardless. So, loyal patrons and fans, please do stay tuned to the drawn/printed pages of the “Sonichu” books; slice-of-life history and all. Thank you.

Caption: End

Punchy is finally feeling the effects of BS draining him, so miserable is he that he rips through the page, complaining that BS has taken up so much of his time that he hasn’t been able to finish the Samurai Pizza Cats DVDs he was buying at the beginning of the episode (I question how he hasn’t seen that series a million times by now; he’s been talking about the series since Sonichu 6). Luckily, Punchy is able to pawn BS off to Shinabe, and he becomes Shinabe’s odd-job doer. Thus ends the brief, bizarre life of Bananasauros as a character in Sonichu.

Magi-Chan pops in for a hot sec to tease the last episode of this issue and the main episode of the next; we’ll see Sonichites and Rosechites in Episode 24.1 and the SLGBTQ Pride Festival in Episode 26. Vaguely visible behind him is Larry the Alakazam, an Alakazam (that I think was once part of Kel’s team) who has a small role in Episode 25.

Included on this page is another backhanded slight against Waterman and his character. “‘Best Roomies’, VBB?”

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 76

BANANASAUROS: I win.

BANANASAUROS: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

SFX: Thwack!

PUNCHY: I’m spike, the banana punch, mom.

PUNCHY: Can we go to the doctor now?

Caption: Shin-nabe calls 911; both Punchy and Bananasauros are fully healed at the Pokemon Center.

Caption: December 22, 4:30 PM, at Punchy’s place…

BANANASAUROS {thought}: You kept beating me; I wanted to win once, dude.

PUNCHY: That is no excuse, man. You really need to mature more. And the dicipline! You need self-control! You are soo not cool, man.

PUNCHY: Hey honey, I’m… ooh! Not the suitcase! You’re leaving, aren’t you?

LAYLA: Yes, Mister Sonichu, I am. I have tried my hardest to keep up with you. Then this… skateboarder nearly kills you. I thought a strike ninja would have had more common sense. This worries me too much! So, I’m moving back in with my trainer.

BS gloats over Punchy, but he inadvertently steps on the loose floorboard Punchy is lying on, sending him flying up and the two crash into each other. This hurts both of them and they are then finally sent to the hospital, or in their cases, a Pokemon Center.

When they get home (I assume this is the same day), Punchy is shocked to see that Layla has packed her bags, preparing to move out. She sets out her treatise as to why BS is just the absolute worst - he’s getting Punchy hurt, despite his prodigious training. She’s done nursing him, so she’s cutting him loose and returning to her trainer (which I assume is essentially moving back in with her parents.)

I love how Chris included the time this takes place even though it’s not important, like, at all. This isn’t 24, Chris, we don’t need to know the time constantly.

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Sonichu 11 Page 74

BANANASAUROS {thought}: Du-u-u-ude! Stop this crazy thing!!!

SFX: Wham!

BANANASAUROS {thought}: David… that did tree… hit… 

BANANASAUROS {thought}: This is no time to wipe out! I’ve got to get one solid victory off Punchy Sonichu!

BANANASAUROS {thought}: Radical!!!

Caption: Meanwhile…

SHINABE: Thank you, young master, for quickly repairing my dojo after Grasshopper’s misfortune in battle.

PUNCHY: I try to respect and honor the dojo I grew up in, as well as all nearby areas, Sensi.

BANANASAUROS {or possibly SFX?} Cowa-kasha!!!

Bananasauros’s thoughts while rolling are a reference to the closing credits of the 1962-3 Hanna Barbera cartoon The Jetsons, where the father of the family, George Jetson, would walk the family’s dog Astro on a futuristic space treadmill when a cat jumps in front of them, causing Astro to begin chasing it. They run so much faster than George that he loses grip on Astro’s leash and gets sucked under the treadmill, going around it in loops until Astro and the cat jump off it and stop chasing each other, deciding to share in the schadenfreude, and George calls out to his wife Jane, who is inside, “Jane! Stop this crazy thing!”, continuing to call for Jane until the program ends. 

After recovering from hitting a tree, BS grabs an abandoned skateboard to prepare his next attack.

Shinabe refers to Bananasauros as “grasshopper”, a colloquial term for a new student of martial arts that was popularized (invented?) by the 1972-75 TV series Kung Fu, wherein the protagonist Kwai Chang Caine is given this nickname by one of his Shaolin masters, the blind Master Po, referring to an incident wherein Po could hear the chirping of a grasshopper when Caine could not. It is nearly certain that Chris is unaware of the origins of the phrase, seeing as Shinabe teaches karate, not kung fu, conflating the two martial arts.

BS crashes Punchy and Shinabe’s tea time by riding the skateboard through the hole in the wall.

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Sonichu 11 Page 72

Caption: Next day, at the day care center…

PUNCHY: Alright, Dave, time to make an egg.

PUNCHY: There’s the Ditto.

BANANASAUROS {thought}: Ditto? I don’t like the sound of that, dude. Is it a chick?

Caption: Ditto used Transform…

PUNCHY: It is now.

BANANASAUROS {thought}: “Now”? You mean it was a dude, or what is it?!

PUNCHY: Dittos are intersex.

BANANASAUROS {thought}: I totally should not have cheated on Caitlyn!!!

PUNCHY: Suck it up, David.

Caption: An hour later…

PUNCHY: Wow! Two eggs! You did it, dude! Big kudos to you!

BANANASAUROS {thought}: Yeah, but you’re gonna hafta carry me home in a Poke ball. That thing was all over me with ferocious intent. Ugh! Snip me, dude. I am soo over all of that. 

Caption: Later on…

PUNCHY: Don’t give me that smug look. I am baffled. Throughout the game, we all could only make fruit or dinosaur words. And the only word I could come up with not related to either was “Moustache.”

Caption: Another day, at Nabe’s Dojo-Shin…

SHINABE: Anticipate a likely counter attack when fighting an opponent; remain focused.

SHINABE: Hajime!

Punchy follows Marjorie’s advice to take BS to a Pokemon breeder, and Bananasauros is placed in front of his next (first?) sexual partner, a Ditto. Dittos are famous for their ability to breed with any non-legendary Pokemon, and are useful for duplicating otherwise rare Pokemon, such as BS here. Though the details are left intentionally hazy for the sake of keeping Pokemon kid friendly, it is often assumed that when left in the daycare with another Pokemon, the otherwise-genderless Ditto transforms into a Pokemon of the same species but opposite gender, and the two breed, which is what’s shown here. 

Despite the fact that BS is still a horny high schooler on the inside, he is not eager to jump into bed with his opposite sexed clone. He considers his being forced to have sex for procreation with this Ditto the apex of his karmic punishment for cheating on Caitlyn. His negative response to the situation may be a commentary on how the Pokemon games allow you to force Pokemon to breed with each other, but that may be digging too deep. It’s prolly just a black comedy rape.

After an hour of apparently rough sex, the Ditto lays two eggs, with their shells being the same color as BS, hinting that they contain baby Bananasaurs. These eggs present an interesting conundrum - since the first Bananasaur was the reincarnation of a dead man, are these also latent reincarnations of the recently deceased? It’s reasonably safe to assume that the roughly 16 or 17 year old David Rotgard didn’t already have any children from his human life, so has he just become a father to the reincarnations of people who were not already his children? Or are they totally new lives, born to a father that was once not their same species? We never see these eggs hatched - presumably they went off with Marjorie and Professor Cedar to be studied and, in turn, breed an entire lineage of Bananasaurs and Bananasauroses to become just another Pokemon species - so these pressing existential questions are never answered.

While Ditto is smiling, seemingly having enjoyed the sex and is proud of the babes she bore, BS claims he would prefer to be neutered to prevent future Ditto rapes. 

Later, we briefly return to Layla and Punchy’s house, and she’s still mad that he’s spending all his time with his new pet, now they’re playing Scrabble. Somehow, every single word, barring “Moustache”, related to either fruit or dinosaurs. Seemingly, BS won the game.

Some time later, Punchy has returned to the dojo where he grew up with BS in tow, and the latter is being trained by Punchy’s foster father, Shinabe. Now, those of you who are deeply versed in Sonichu lore might be saying “wait a second, wasn’t Shinabe murdered by a vengeful former student in one of Chris’s supplementary prose side stories, a student who was in turn killed by an avenging Punchy?” Yes, to quote the CWCkipedia article about how Sonichu met the Chaotic Combo, “Punchy occupies the Dojo he hatched in. He missed his television shows (Samurai Pizza Cats), so I talked with the Electric Company of Cwcville, and resumed Electric service for the Dojo. Master Shinabe was murdered by one of his ex-students in revenge. Punchy swiftly punch him back. He respectfully buried his late master and the assassin behind the Dojo with a proper Japanese-like Memorial piece above their resting place in respect.” So why is he here now? The most charitable explanation (and this is a very charitable explanation) is that this is some sort of prequel set before Shinabe’s death, but the more reasonable explanation is that Chris simply forgot he wrote that, seeing as this was written long after the demise of the CWCkipedia.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 70

BANANASAUROS {thought}: Before I knew it, I had gone from being human to being a fruit-shaped dragon. Before this, I was a high school seinor, skateboarder and expert rad gamer. Loved the heavy metal and hard rock. I’d hang with my buds, and I kissed a few girls; broke a few hearts. I had recently cheaded Caitlyn to get with Henny, and I was a “B”-average student. I had more to hearn, but now I have to rush-adjust to this new life. I guess I got what I deserved. My name is David Rotgard.

PUNCHY: Honey! I’m home! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

BANANASAUROS {thought}: I’m home too, dudette!

BANANASAUROS: Gerbal flam bam!

PUNCHY: …And I’ve brought a new friend to stay for a while.

PUNCHY: This is my new Pokemon, Bananasauros. Dude, this is Layla.

BANANASAUROS: Gurgle-Burble wham bam nipon.

LAYLA: Uh… what did he say, Punchy?

PUNCHY: Oh, yeah, his speech is waay different, but I can understand him. He said, “nice to meet you.”

BANANASAUROS: Wham bam, nipon.

PUNCHY: Oh. “Nice to meet you, dudette.”

LAYLA: Oh. How quaint.

David Rotgard spins us the sad tale of how he ended up in the body of a banana Pokemon. He was once a high school “seinor” - a rebel without a brain, underachiever and proud of it, lover of heavy metal music and hardcore video games. Despite his seemingly very slobbish lifestyle, he was quite the ladykiller, and he left a trail of broken hearts behind him. Specifically weighing on his conscience is how he cheated on a girl named Caitlyn to get with a girl named Henny (it’s not known whether David and Henny were dating when he died, or if he left behind any girlfriend-widows at all). He says he got what he deserved for the affair, his punishment being turning into a banana dinosaur. 

Punchy brings him home to Layla, who is, to say the least, not happy to see this wild animal her boyfriend brought home. She is off put by his garbled, animalistic speech, and even when translated it does not assuage her, as he calls her “dudette” (“dudette”, while generally not an inflammatory term for a woman, is overly casual).

“Wham Bam Nipon” may be a combination of a shortening of the phrase “wham bam thank you ma’am”, a stock phrase referring to one night stands, and a misspelling of “Nippon”, the Japanese word for Japan, reminding us once again of two of David’s favorite things - Japanese culture and casual sex.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 68

SIMON: I’m flummoxed as well, Sandy.

PUNCHY: I get what he’s saying.

SIMON: Aaah!!

SANDY: Punchy, hi!

PUNCHY: Hey, Sandy. Hi, Simon. Yeah, that little guy was just groovin’ with AC/DC before hatching. 

BANANASAUR {thought}: You understand my speech, red dude?

PUNCHY: Yeah, little dude. Jam with me. Wha’ cha know?

BANANASAUR {thought}: Oh, rightous. Thank God!

BANANASAUR {thought}: I was diggin AC/DC’s latest beats, when ka-blam! A car hits me. Next thing I know, I’m out of an egg, tryin’ to convince the blue gal I was late to a video game play with my buds. Guess they won’t get me now. Ugh!!!

PUNCHY: Major bummer, dude. You want some strawberry Pocky?

BANANASAUR {thought}: Thanks, dude! I love fruit snacks.

SIMON: Wow. You seem to be the only one who can understand this Bananasaur. Would you take care of him? Also, as he is a newly-discovered Pokemon, would you breed him at a day care center?

BANANASAUR {thought}: Yum! This is good.

Punchy makes a beeline to the museum and immediately hits it off with Bananasaur, they share some Pocky over recollections of Bananasaur’s previous life, and Punchy agrees to take him of Simon and Sandy’s hands, inadvertently sealing the doom of his relationship with Layla.

Bananasaur claims he was listening to AC/DC’s “latest beats” when he died (note that the slang term “beats” is generally only used in reference to rap, techno, EDM, stuff where a “beat” is more important than other rhythms… not hard rock like AC/DC, is what I’m trying to say), which leads to some confusion about exactly when he died. He later is shown to be good at the video game God of War, the first game of which came out in 2005, since the beginning of the God of War franchise AC/DC has released albums in 2008, 2014, and 2020, it’s possible that he was listening to Black Ice (the 2008 album) and was familiar with God of War I and II, or maybe he died closer to his apparent creation date in 2014, and was listening to Rock or Bust (2014) and was familiar with the entire God of War classic trilogy. It’s fairly safe to say that either 2008 or 2014 is his year of death, given the ties to AC/DC album releases.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 67

Caption: A moment ago, nearby…

Sign: Only in Japan!

BANANASAUR: Blegh! Nerp-flam wobble, ni-boop! Wam wam ka-blam!

PUNCHY: What an awesome haul! “Samurai Pizza Cats” manga volumes 1-7, and the complete series DVD set in Japanese and English, and a ton of Pocky!

BANANASAUR {thought}: …Well, one moment I was crossing a street while listening to AC/DC on my iPod, when suddenly, ka-blam!

PUNCHY {thought}: Someone’s speaking my lengua.

PUNCHY {thought}: Ah-ha! The Museum!

SANDY {from inside}: …Only hear gibberish from him.

Punchy is leaving some sort of Japanese import store with a haul of manga, anime DVDs, and snacks, and is noticed by Bananasaur (who is apparently still inside the museum but notices Punchy leaving the store… this scene is a logistical nightmare.) Bananasaur immediately senses that Punchy is a kindred spirit who can understand him, and he immediately spills part of his back story - that he was struck by a vehicle while distracted listening to AC/DC on his iPod. Punchy follows Bananasaur’s pleas back to the museum.

Pocky is a Japanese snack, a thin cracker stick generally coated in chocolate. Though Japanese in origin, you can get them a lot of places in the US, despite it being treated here as a valuable commodity only available in limited quantity in the States. You can get Pocky at Walmart for Godbear’s sake.

Bananasaur’s fate, likely coincidentally, resembles the fate of Sandy in the troll ending of Sonichu 11, where she was hit by a distracted driver while she herself was distracted while listening to Christian and the Hedgehog Boys.

It’s not “AC/DC”, you’re supposed to spell it with a lightning bolt, you poser.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 61

Caption: A half-hour later, at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church.

WILD: I though Reggie might like to evolve someday.

ANGELICA: How thoughtful thank you, Wild. And many blessings to Simonchu too.

Caption: A half-hour later…

Caption: December 22, 2008, in Angelica’s room…

ANGELICA: I have a present for you. I can’t wait.

REGINALD: Wow!

ANGELICA: In case you ever wanted to evolve.

REGINALD: This is great. Thank you, Angelica. I got you something too. Freshly baked vanilla cookies. Kept it simple.

ANGELICA: My favorite kind of cookie. Thank you Reginald.

Wild inadvertently sets a snowball rolling that would destroy Angelica and Reginald’s relationship when he gifts the pair the Razor Claw. Angelica ties it to a string and turns it into a necklace, then wraps it up and gives it to her beau in the evening. She says it’s “in case he ever [wants] to evolve”, and seemingly he immediately wants to evolve because he puts it around his neck and keeps it on. Note that Razor Claws disappear after being used to evolve a Sneasel, so though it was a nice gesture when Reginald evolves he’ll be stuck with a piece of useless cord. Reginald’s gift in return is Angie’s favorite, vanilla cookies, emblematic of her bland personality.